Bones, Copas and Consonants

D.C. United to play in the Copa Sudamericana (AP)
(UPDATED)The South American Cup will once again be dominated by North American clubs. DC proved that despite their recent ugly play, they weren’t the ugly stepsister by receiving an invitation to the ball, Copa Sudamericana. DC’s selection was due to their third-place finish (due to goal diff) in the CONCACAF Champions Cup. In the drawing, fate awarded them a CCC re-match, as DC United will face the team that eliminated them from the final, Chivas Guadalajara, on September 11 and October 4. Defending Copa Sudamerican champs Pachuca CF, CF America were the other CONCACAF club invites and will play each other.


Site cleanup delays Red Bulls Stadium opening (AP)
Jimmy Hoffa found at Red Bull stadium site in Harrison. Officials are calling it industrial waste, but c’mon, we know that New Jersey is where they dump the bodies. Said one fictional official, “Maybe we can give the first 100 fans to Red Bull Stadium a free pinky rings (fingers included).”

Hahnemann targets July return (Yanks Abroad)
He’s more machine than man now. After getting his hand cracked like crab leg at a Red Lobster, Hahneman is hoping to be healed in time to join Reading for their trip to S. Korea. According to YA, Reading Press Officer Andy West said, “[Hahnemann] broke three bones in his hand and one of his bones was in five pieces” and then had “two plates and 16 screws inserted into his hand.” Is Darth Vader also his father?

Adin Brown continued his stingy ways (Yanks Abroad)
Adin Brown posted his third consecutive shutout for Aalesund against Sykkylven in the Norgesmesterskapet i fotball for herrer. This feat is made all the more impressive by the number of consonants that Brown must also deflect in Norway.

Raining on our parade (Yanks Abroad)
Can I be serious for a moment? Sean O’Conor and the other YA writers do a terrific job keeping the U.S. soccer fans abreast of the action of our beloved ex-pats across the pond. Take a look at this post-season wrap up. It’s terrific stuff. Spot on analysis. Nice work!

TYH