Shevchenko to MLS? Dream on

Today's Mirror in the UK is reporting that MLS execs are after Chelsea striker Andriy Shevchenko. It is complete nonsense and you should not for a moment believe that MLS who mortgaged the farm for David Beckham would double down for Shevchenko.

While Shevchenko would be a spectacular addition and an instant superstar in MLS, his arrival would not be accompanied by the same hoopla that surrounded Spice Boy and therefore, it would also not be the financial boon that Becks has been. Shevchenko just doesn't carry the same cache as Beckham with the American public, and therefore, MLS would not be willing to shell out a hefty contract, examining the disparity of earning potential between Becks and Shevy on this side of the Atlantic. And it's a shame because Shevchenko would be accompanied by a much hotter wife, American model Kristen Pazik (pictured).

I feel bad for all the Real Salt Lake and Toronto fans that The Mirror is torturing with fiction like this. But before you allow yourself to be swept away dreaming of the Dneiper River (it's in the Ukraine), remember that his former club AC Milan, received 30 million pounds (about $60 million) for his transfer, but recently said they were "priced out" when they tried to get him back. Also, Dynamo Kiev is reportedly trying to reach a loan deal, so there's competition.

The Beckham signing was an aberration. And don't point to Blanco or Angel or Xavier as proof that MLS is now competing with the big boys because all three of those players were considered past their prime by their former clubs (whether that's an accurate assessment of their abilities is open for debate, but the financial depreciation of their value was clear).

Still, Shevchenko in Major League Soc...Dammit, now I'm doing it.

L.A. pub team holds Chelsea to 1-0 win

The Los Angeles Galaxy did not lose 22-0, as some in the British tabloids predicted. Instead, they managed to hold Chelsea to a single goal in the second match of the World Series of Football, which might have been more appropriately named “Beckham’s Coming Out Party.”

The media circus that was David Beckham’s first match with the Galaxy began with an hour-long documentary on the English superstar and then a half-hour of pre-game discussion about the Spice Boy. With Hollywood star sightings and a red carpet (no Joan Rivers though), the “match” seemed almost secondary, like the award for best film editing at the Oscars. But who doesn’t want to know why the Ghost Whisperer turned out for the match?

When Beckham came out of the locker room, fashionably late of course, photographers formed a phalanx around the bench and were pushed back by security. It was a surreal scene for a sport that ESPN has often preempted with Rodeos and Poker in the league’s 11-year history.

The spectacle included sports celebrities like Shaq (who managed to call out both the Lakers and Real Madrid in answering a single question, nice) and Kevin Garnett, as well as movie and television stars, Eva Longoria and Katie Holmes (both of whom looked on from Posh’s luxury box).

Galaxy season-ticket holder (and the only true U.S. soccer fan out of the celebrity set) Drew Carey was of course there as well. Strangely, though, when interviewed he seemed to be watching the match, which he was more interested in than shilling for his new game show. Carey remarked that he had watched the MLS All-Star match when a poor decision to shoot an interview of Pablo Mastroeni nearly cost viewers a look at a goal. He didn’t want to be that guy. And we love Drew for it.

Eventually, a match was played and the Galaxy did not embarrass themselves, as many in the British press had predicted they would. With Beckham on the bench, the Galaxy managed one decent shot on goal in the first half, forcing a superb save by Chelsea’s Peter Cech, and then preceded to hold on to a 0-0 draw for the remainder of the half. The game continued to be secondary to the question of whether or not Beckham would play or not.

That question was answered when the Englishman made his debut on an obviously still sore ankle with about 13 minutes to play. Chelsea captain (and Beckham’s replacement for national team captain) John Terry had already fired a classy low shot off the right post and in after the Galaxy failed to effectively clear a shot. But there would be no storybook ending for the Hollywood script that MLS execs were hoping to write. Beckham just limped up and down the pitch, and still managed to look better than most of the Galaxy players with the few touches he had.

Landon Donovan, who seemed a bit overexcited before the match, played rather poorly, failing to put away an easy header from the six. The best player for the Galaxy on the night was Abel Xavier, who was solid in defense and saved the Galaxy from embarrassment by denying many long-distance efforts by Chelsea. The worst player was Troy Roberts who was beat like a rented mule (it’s a saying, don’t write letters) all night long by Salomon Kalou. Roberts was dreadful. He should not be in MLS, let alone starting for a team.

The Beckham dream debut nearly turned into a nightmare for fans, as a hard tackle by Steve Sidwell sent Beckham sprawling to the turf where he stayed for a moment. Prior to the match, Cheslea coach Jose Mourinho had acknowledged that he told his team to avoid challenges on Beckham if he were to enter the match (a “non-aggression pact”). But as Eric Wynalda commented, Sidwell must have missed the memo. But the $250 million signing jumped up quickly and appeared to be no worse for wear.

The match ended with a Galaxy corner, that Donovan laughingly set-up to take before smiling and deferring to Beckham. Beck’s corner, however, was a bit short, falling to the near post, and was headed out. The match would end and Galaxy fans could relax.

Another word on LD. During Alexi Lalas’ interview with Rob Stone and Julie Foudy, he made a curious statement. Now, I know Lalas has a tendency to open mouth and insert foot, but he seemed to indicate that the Galaxy wanted players who understood the importance of Beckham to the team. His language was curious because he didn’t say that he currently had a team that understood what Beckham’s impact was going to be. Only that they “wanted” them. Do I sense a trade in the works? Perhaps Landon Donovan to New York for Jozy Altidore? Just speculating.

I guess Galaxy execs would say that Beckham’s appearance was necessary, but the Sidwell challenge really highlighted the absolute absurdity of putting him in when he was still clearly carrying an injury. He limped about on the pitch and although he provided a few nice touches, it could have been disastrous if Sidwell had caught the left ankle instead of sliding in more to Beckham’s right boot. It was utterly absurd to risk a player that is that valuable to a team and a league for a farcical competition like this one.

So, even though the Galaxy lost, they should count themselves lucky. They should also hold Beckham out of any further contests until he’s fully healed. No Superliga, at all. If Los Angeles really expect to squeak into the playoffs, they need a healthy Beckham for their return to regular season play on August 5th versus Toronto. Oh, and they need a new right back and possibly a new left back and maybe a pair of forwards who can score … but that’s all.

MLS Match Report