Shevchenko to MLS? Dream on

Today's Mirror in the UK is reporting that MLS execs are after Chelsea striker Andriy Shevchenko. It is complete nonsense and you should not for a moment believe that MLS who mortgaged the farm for David Beckham would double down for Shevchenko.

While Shevchenko would be a spectacular addition and an instant superstar in MLS, his arrival would not be accompanied by the same hoopla that surrounded Spice Boy and therefore, it would also not be the financial boon that Becks has been. Shevchenko just doesn't carry the same cache as Beckham with the American public, and therefore, MLS would not be willing to shell out a hefty contract, examining the disparity of earning potential between Becks and Shevy on this side of the Atlantic. And it's a shame because Shevchenko would be accompanied by a much hotter wife, American model Kristen Pazik (pictured).

I feel bad for all the Real Salt Lake and Toronto fans that The Mirror is torturing with fiction like this. But before you allow yourself to be swept away dreaming of the Dneiper River (it's in the Ukraine), remember that his former club AC Milan, received 30 million pounds (about $60 million) for his transfer, but recently said they were "priced out" when they tried to get him back. Also, Dynamo Kiev is reportedly trying to reach a loan deal, so there's competition.

The Beckham signing was an aberration. And don't point to Blanco or Angel or Xavier as proof that MLS is now competing with the big boys because all three of those players were considered past their prime by their former clubs (whether that's an accurate assessment of their abilities is open for debate, but the financial depreciation of their value was clear).

Still, Shevchenko in Major League Soc...Dammit, now I'm doing it.