Viva Colombia! MLS All-Stars beat Celtic

The Major League Soccer All-Stars outclassed Scottish giant Celtic FC, 2-0, with goals from MLS's two new Colombian imports, Juan Pablo Angel (NY) and Juan Toja (DAL), in the 2007 MLS All-Star game in Dick's Sporting Goods Park in Denver. The MLS All-Stars are now 4-0 versus international sides, with victories over Chelsea (1-0), Fulham (4-1) and CD Guadalajara (3-1).

Even with a few of MLS's better players missing from this year's All-Star lineups (see my blog), the MLS All-Stars ran roughshod over the Bhoys, who looked like they were just beginning their preaseason, even though they have been preparing for some time.

The wet pitch made for a sloppy first few minutes, as both sides sorted out the pace of the slick turf. Houston's Dwayne De Rosario, last year's MVP, took a while to find his touch in the early stages. But MLS would find it quicker than Celtic, as Toja nearly opened the scoring in the 21st minute. A Ronnie O'Brien (TOR) cross fell to Toja, who was unmarked at the far post, but his effort was blocked well by Celtic keeper Artur Boruc who was a busy man all night.

MLS got an even better chance about eight minutes later when Kansas City striker Eddie Johnson was clipped inside the box and a penalty was given. Johnson who stood over the ball, refusing to let anyone else take the PK, struck the ball low and to his left, but Boruc dove and blocked away Johnson's weak effort.

MLS's breakthrough would spring from a familiar source, as De Rosario split the Celtic backline with a lovely ball that Red Bull star Angel dribbled around Boruc and tucked into goal. A classy finish that made Celtic look like the pub team that the Brits were calling Los Angeles earlier in the day.

Speaking of the Galaxy, MLS royalty David Beckham was present at the match. I know this because ESPN showed him every five minutes and then interviewed him at halftime. The rest of the time, the game announcers talked about him. It was all Becks, all the time. I know he is helping the league, but I'm already kind of sick of him. Not one shot of his wife either. They did show sideline reporter Allen Hopkins giving Beckham the ol' how-do-you-do for what seemed like an uncomfortable amount of time.

Back to the match, EJ continued to show why the national team needs more options at striker. His touch was pretty awful, too heavy or too light. He tried a few fancy moves, but most of the time he just gave it away. He is best if you drop the ball in front of him behind the defense. Any kind of pressure and he fucks up. Oh he looked like his little sister had given him a haircut.

Despite EJ's issues, MLS continued to dominate possession through the midfield, as De Rosario and Dynamo teammate Ricardo Clark demonstrated why Houston is the class of MLS right now. On the other end, New England 'keeper Matt Reis was rarely tested in the early going. In the 40th minute, however, Reis was forced to wake up, as Celtic's Scott McDonald slammed a hard, low shot off the post.

Four minutes later, MLS would double their lead, as MLS's other MVP candidate Juan Toja made up for his earlier point-blank miss. The play began after Angel won a free kick from about 30 yards. The free kick slammed off the wall and a Celtic player, attempting to touch it back to a teammate, knocked it right to Toja who was in on goal and sent a low left-footed shot past Boruc.

Then, halftime...the Beckham interview with Rob Stone where he said he's probably not playing in the meaningless match against Chelsea, that Entertainment tonight follows him to In-and-Out Burger and that he wants to help the U.S. grow soccer. Really, LA fans, relax, take a deep breath. You may suck this year, but don't let the British media take the piss out of you. He's here for at least two seasons. He said he's here for five years, but we'll see.

The point is, he means more to you than just this match versus Chelsea or even this season. I feel like LA fans are going to have a collective nervous breakdown if he doesn't immediately turn things around for them. It may take some time, and it might not be till next year. The English media will be heartless to your struggles. Remember, these are the people who killed Princess Diana and they loved her for fuck's sake. So, take a deep breath and smile because the future is still bright in LA. Oh and the halftime band was shite, as I predicted.

Ok, sidetracked again. The second half was really more of the same, although Celtic tried to put the pedal down and played with a bit more urgency. But Michael Parkhurst (NE), Jimmy Conrad (KC) and even, I must admit it, Jonathan Bornstein (CHV) played solid. The Revs Shalrie Joseph played well defensively; he's very physical, but a bit clumsy with his challenges.

MLS All-Star coach Steve Nicol made all the requisite All-Star substitutions in the second half. He brought in Kevin Hartman, who demonstrated exactly why he shouldn't have been there by dropping a long-distance shot right in front of McDonald whose subsequent goal was disallowed (correctly) for offside. Then Nicol brought on hometown favorite Pablo Mastroeni (COL), Landon Donovan (LA) and Brian Ching (HOU) in the 65th minute. Later on he brought on the AARP Cobi Jones (LA) and Eddie Pope (RSL).

Landon spent much of the rest of the second half looking nervous and clumsy on the ball. It was as if there was someone in the stands who he was trying to impress (and who the ESPN showed after every misplayed ball by the Young American). He did manage to settle down for the last 10 minutes,

In all, it was an excellent exhibition of the league for the new world audience that seems to have migrated from Europe to America very recently. And I think it proved that MLS already had some stars of its own before they purchased ol' what's-his-name.

All-Star MVP: Juan Pablo Angel

MLS matchtracker

FIrst-half highlights courtesy of YouTuber askurmum999