U.S. add two for Spanish duel

Despite a pathetic performance against England on Wednesday, U.S. coach Bob Bradley only added two new faces to the roster set to face Spain in Santander on June 4 -- Pablo Mastroeni and Maurice Edu.

While Edu is a talented midfielder and Mastroeni provides defensive depth, the team still lacks teeth and will continue to have problems up front. The next friendly will be against Argentina on June 8 at Giants Stadium. The United States is only about 15 days away from returning to World Cup qualifying. Here is the rosters for both national teams:

U.S.
GOALKEEPERS (3): Dominic Cervi (out of contract), Brad Guzan (Chivas USA), Tim Howard (Everton FC)
DEFENDERS (9): Carlos Bocanegra (out of contract), Dan Califf (FC Midtjylland), Steve Cherundolo (Hannover 96), Jay DeMerit (Watford FC), Frankie Hejduk (Columbus Crew), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard de Liege), Michael Orozco (San Luis), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock), Jonathan Spector (West Ham United)
MIDFIELDERS (7): Freddy Adu (SL Benfica), DaMarcus Beasley (Glasgow Rangers), Michael Bradley (SC Heerenveen), Ricardo Clark (Houston Dynamo), Maurice Edu (Toronto FC), Eddie Lewis (Derby County), Pablo Mastroeni (Colorado Rapids)
FORWARDS (5): Clint Dempsey (Fulham FC), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy), Nate Jaqua (out of contract), Eddie Johnson (Fulham FC), Josh Wolff (out of contract)

SPAIN
GOALKEEPERS(3): Iker Casillas (Real Madrid), Andres Palop (Sevilla), Pepe Reina (Liverpool, England)
DEFENDERS (8): Raul Albiol (Valencia), Alvaro Arbeloa (Liverpool, England), Joan Capdevilla (Villarreal), Juanito (Real Betis), Carlos Marchena (Valencia), Fernando Navarro (Real Mallorca), Carles Puyol (Barcelona), Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid),
MIDFIELDERS (8): Xabi Alonso (Liverpool, England), Santi Cazorla (Villarreal), Ruben de la Red (Getafe), Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal, England), Andres Iniesta (Barcelona), Marcos Senna (Villarreal), David Silva (Valencia), Xavi (Barcelona),
FORWARDS (4): Sergio Garcia (Real Zaragoza), Daniel Guiza (Real Mallorca), Fernando Torres (Liverpool, England), David Villa (Valencia)

MLS midweek: I-95, Texas draws

MAY 29
DC United 2-2 New England (Gillette Stadium)

New England probably should have lost this match in the first half, if not for some nice netminding by Matt Reis. Reigning MLS MVP Luciano Emilio scored only his third goal of the year finishing off a rebound from Clyde Simms shot with a diving header to start the scoring in the 14th minute. Fred made it 2-0 DC finishing off a rebound after Emilio and Jaime Moreno peppered Reis' goal in the 53rd. But Adam Cristman pulled one back six minutes later after a whiffed clearance by Fred found its way to Kheli Dube who slotted for Cristman. Dube than found equalizer for the Revs in the 72nd minute after a Steve Ralston cross to the far post was headed back to the six by Jeff Larentowicz where Dube headed it in.
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MAY 28
Houston 2-2 FC Dallas (Pizza Hut Park)

FC Dallas' Kenny Cooper took his frustrations at being left off the roster for USA v ENG by blasting a hard shot from the left of goal inside the far post in the first half. Corey Ashe equalized eight minutes into the second half, cleaning up a ball left by Brian Ching after the Hawaiian made a nice spin move to collect and drop the ball to the trailing Ashe. A textbook header by Drew Moor off a Andre Rocha corner put Dallas on top again. And it looked as if they might collect the full three points, until the 80th minute when a push by Dallas' Marcelo Saragosa set off hothead Eddie Robinson who, in turn, shoved Saragosa to the turf and received a red card. In the ensuing scuffle, Rocha received his second yellow card and was also sent off. With each side at 10 men, space opened up for each side, but it was the Dynamo's Dwayne DeRosario, two-and-a-half minutes into extra time, who found the equalizer, finishing off a rebound from a Brian Ching header.

Robinson vs. Saragosa, like a couple of kids on a playground...

Sounders go XBox Live

Major League Soccer's next new club, the Seattle Sounders FC, announced that Microsoft would be their official shirt sponsor and previewed the kit with "Xbox 360 Live" emblazoned on the chest.

I'm not going to get into the whole debate surrounding shirt sponsorship and should they be featured so prominently on the jerseys. Mainly because it is a debate that I care very little about. Soccer haters in this country often point to it as somehow un-American. For them, I have six letters N-A-S-C-A-R.

More importantly, does this mean that MLS can finally get decent representation in the video gaming industry, beyond EA Sports throwing a league a bone? What ever happened to that shitty game ESPN MLS Extra Time? I think it was a Konami game, so they could use a winning 11 platform.

This game is lame

McBride headed (pun intended) home

Reports out of Fulham confirm that Brian McBride has rejected an offer by the EPL side and will return to Major League Soccer to finish his career.

McBride was the first overall pick by the Columbus Crew in the inaugural year and played (although not so regularly due to injury) for eight seasons. A tall, handsome white boy from the midwest, McBride immediately became a fan favorite with the Crew's racist fans.

But despite McBride's ties to Columbus, Toronto FC are first in line for allocation. However, uber blogger Steven Goff writes that a league source has told him that McBride will end up in Chicago, by hook or by crook (most likely crook). McBride grew up in Arlington Heights a suburb of Chicago that is located in the same county (Cook) as the Fire's stadium.

U.S. turns in miserable performance

The weather wasn't the only dreary, miserable thing in Wembley tonight, as the U.S. looks terrible in a 2-0 loss to England. So much for Bob Bradley's empty rhetoric about gaining respect.

No ton for Landon Donovan, either, as he was a scratch for tonight's game due to a "tight groin."

Captain John Terry and midfielder Steven Gerrard scored on either side of halftime and the U.S. only managed a couple of threatening shots.

The starting line-up was pathetic for the most part. It felt like Copa America all over again. There continues to be absolutely no life in the U.S. attack. Where was Jozy? Cooper? Hell, I'd even take Brian Ching over Josh Wolff and Nate Jacqua. When is the USSF going to realize that 9/10s of coaching at the national team level is picking the right players and Bradley is terrible at it.

Lineups:
USA: 1-Tim Howard (18-Brad Guzan, 46); 6-Steve Cherundolo (27-Frankie Hejduk, 46), 22-Oguchi Onyewu, 3-Carlos Bocanegra (Capt.), 5-Heath Pearce; 8-Clint Dempsey, 13-Ricardo Clark (26-Maurice Edu, 78), 4-Michael Bradley, 7-DaMarcus Beasley (11-Eddie Lewis, 68); 9-Eddie Johnson (14-Nate Jaqua, 89), 16-Josh Wolff (19-Freddy Adu, 68)

ENG: 1-David James; 2-Wes Brown (13-Glen Johnson, 58), 6-John Terry (capt.), 3-Ashley Cole (14-Wayne Bridge, 83), 5-Rio Ferdinand; 7-David Beckham (17-David Bentley, 46), 4-Owen Hargreaves, 8-Frank Lampard (21-Gareth Barry, 57), 10-Steven Gerrard; 9-Jermain Defoe (25-Peter Crouch, 68), 11-Wayne Rooney (22-Joe Cole, 79)

Poplar Point: Back from the dead, again

An article this morning in The Washington Post details the latest attempt by DC United to secure a portion of the Poplar Point development project for construction of a new soccer-specific stadium.

According to the article, DC Council Chairman Vincent C. Gray (D), Jack Evans (D-Ward 2) and Marion Barry (D-Ward 8) have proposed the building of 27,000-seat stadium that would be partially subsidized by city money, to the tune of $150 million to be exact.

This is essential the same plan proposed by Mayor Adrian Fenty back in February, aplan that the he ended up backing away from when it appeared "unpoplar" (that was a joke). This has been an ongoing attempt to move DC United out of the cavernous RFK Stadium and into new digs.

JP and Harksey weigh in on US v ENG

Bradley fires warning shot over English bow

In an article on the mlsnet website, USMNT coach Bob Bradley said that his players aren't headed to Wembley for a spot of tea and some biscuits.

"We treat these games as opportunities to gain respect ... for our players to step up and show where we are. We take them very seriously."

Goalkeeper Tim Howard echoed his boss' sentiments on the importance of the match and said that the U.S. will be ready to play.

"We step on the field expecting to win, we are not a pushover by any stretch of the imagination," said the Everton stopper. "We're going to fight them, and give as good as we get.

"It won't be a situation like we are a deer in the headlights. We won't be awed by the size of the game, we have something to prove as a team and we're up for the challenge."

Also interesting is the fact that Bradley refused to guarantee a starting spot for the all-time goal-scoring leader Landon Donovan. Considering that they left Jozy Altidore at home and their options at forward are currently Nate Jaqua, Eddie Johnson, and Josh Wolff (and Clint Dempsey if he isn't played on the wing), it is unlikely that LD won't start. Not to mention that he's sitting on 99 caps.

Kickoff for the the friendly is set for 3pmET and will be broadcast live on ESPN Classic.

Middlesbrough make room for Bradley

EPL club Middlesbrough are attempting to unload central midfielder George Boateng to clear room for American defensive midfielder Michael Bradley, according to reports in The Daily Star.

According to the British paper, Bradley's current club Heerenveen would receive £3 million for the 20-year-old Bradley, who is already penciled into the starting line-up for the U.S. Olympic team and in the mix for the 2010 World Cup. His father, of course, is Bob Bradley, head coach of the U.S. national team.

It would be a positive move for Bradley who has been a off the radar for American fans since moving to The Netherlands from New York. Major League Soccer should also consider a swoop for Boateng, 32, if the Ghana-born Dutch footballer is economical. But it is likely that he'll want to return to the Dutch Eredivisie, perhaps in a straight swap to Heerenveen.

Remembering fallen heroes on Memorial Day

"Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored."
--Daniel Webster

TYH'S MLS BEST 11 (Week 9)

GOALKEEPER

B. Guzan (CHV)

DEFENDERS

B. Namoff (DC), J. Larentowicz (NE), C. Talley (CHV)

MIDFIELDERS

S. Kljestan (CHV), N. Grabavoy (SJ), C. Blanco (CHI)

FORWARDS

D. Dichio (TFC), D. Oduro (DAL), L. Donovan (LA), C. Barrett (CHI)

Chicago send Red Bulls to pasture

Mr. White (aka Blanco) took care of business against his former coach's new team, as Chicago beat New York 5-1 at Giants Stadium.

Good thing Bob Bradley didn't take Josy Altidore to England with the U.S. national team so he could stay home and get pummeled by Chicago (That was sarcasm. Did you get it, Bob?).

Chad Barrett had two and Chris Rolfe, Cuauhtemoc Blanco and Gonzalo Segares each had one before Altidore managed to pull one back. It was an inauspicious return for former Chicago, now New York, head coach Juan Carlos Osorio to say the least. If the scoreline isn't embarrassing enough, consider that four out of the five goals scored by the Fire came in the second half.

Is Shevchenko radioactive?

According to a report on British television, "even Major League Soccer" is passing on the chance to sign the once highly coveted Ukrainian striker Andriy Shevchenko.

According to the report, one "MLS boss" said about the 31-year-old: "Managers don't want has-beens who are looking to wind down their careers."

I would bet buttons to buttermilk that the "MLS boss" is Alexi Lalas. After all, he's likely the only MLS exec most of the British press know. But Despite Shevchenko's terrible form with Chelsea, an MLS club would be stupid not to at least consider trying to work out a bargain-basement deal for the one-time world Top 10 player.

I would be extremely surprised if a team didn't take a chance on the Ukrainian's ability to revitalize his career stateside. At the very least, he would bring his wife, American model Kristen Pazik.

Feilhaber's injury nightmare

Playing in a meaningless game in a meaningless tournament might have cost Benny Feilhaber his chance at Olympic gold.

The U.S. under-23 midfielder tore his meniscus in his right knee while playing Wednesday against Turkey in the 2008 Toulon International Tournament and will need surgery.

The prognosis is that Feilhaber will be out four to six weeks, which means that he might be able to play in late June or early July. That gives him around a month to regain fitness, so a return is certainly not out of the question. But knee injuries often take longer to heal than anticipated and it often takes even longer to regain pre-injury form.

MLS Round-Up (Week 9)

MAY 24
Kansas City 1-3 Los Angeles (Home Depot Center)

Brilliant work by Claudio Lopez on the game's first goal in half one was extinguished by a 54-minute penalty won and taken by Landon Donovan. Donovan then fed a no-look pass to Edson Buddle to put LA on top. In extra time, KC brought goalkeeper Kevin Hartman up on a corner kick to try to convert the equalizer, but instead LA won the ensuing ball and David Beckham scored his fourth goal of the season, hitting the empty net from about 70 yards away.
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Chivas USA 2-1 Colorado (DSG Park)

Chivas USA's Jesse Marsch scored in the first half, and Carey Talley delivered a deep cross to the head of Jorge Flores to put Chivas up 2-0 before heavy pressure by the home-side yielded an impressive conciliation goal by Tom McManus.
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Toronto 2-3 DC United (RFK Stadium)

DC United stop the bleeding with a fine second-half performance, coming back from a one-goal deficit twice. TFC hero Danny Dichio's brace was equalized each time, first by Gonzalo Peralta and then by a Jaime Moreno penalty kick, before Luciano Emilio's cleaned up a spill by Reds goalkeeper Greg Sutton off a hard shot by Santino Quaranta.
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New England 1-0 Columbus (Crew Stadium)

Each team committed 14 fouls and four yellow cards were shown, so it isn't surprising that a PK decided this one. A questionable trip called on MLS veteran Ezra Hendrickson as Steve Ralston dribbled across the top of the box, resulted in a penalty kick attempt by Shalrie Joseph. His attempt however was blocked and fell to the Zimbabwean Kheli Dube who converted the rebound.
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Real Salt Lake 1-2 FC Dallas (Pizza Hut Park)

No Joy for RSL, as two clumsy tackles earn Ian Joy an early trip to the showers before the halftime whistle. Despite getting the shorthanded goal from Fabian Espindola in the second half, FC Dallas forward Dominic Oduro scored two late goals, including the winner in stoppage time, to give the home side the victory.
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This is not a retirement league!

According to The Journal in Newcastle, 36-year-old Sunderland midfielder Dwight Yorke is considering a move to Major League Soccer.

The Journal writes, "[Yorke] has yet to decide if he will sign a new Sunderland contract this summer or leave for the A-League or Major League Soccer, believes that is still some way off."

Yorke, a former Trinidad & Tobago goal machine, is certainly past his prime, slower and heavier. He'll likely have very little left in the tank for a stint in MLS. Like MLS-bust Denilson, his impressive pedigree will not enough to help Yorke deliver on the field in any more than an occasional substitute role.

Although he might be useful in a supporter's role, a kind of super sub a la Hristo Stoitchkov for Chicago and DC, I doubt that he would be able to go longer than 60 or 70 minutes per game. And because he would most likely have a limited role, MLS clubs should balk at any more than a limited salary request. Exhibit A: Denilson in Dallas. And he was 29.

Back in March, it was reported that Yorke was in negotiations with the Central Coast Mariners for a move back to the Australian A-League. MLS should simply say "g'day mate" and let him drag his old ass down under.

Reunited: Could Arena football return to DC?

DC United is slipping quickly into the panic zone and one can't help but think that after a 2-7 start the guillotine is sure to fall on head coach Tom Soehn sooner rather than later. But if he is fired, who will take his place. Enter DC's first and most beloved head coach Bruce Arena who signaled to ESPN writer Ives Galarcep that he's ready to return to the sidelines.

"For most D.C. United fans, nothing makes more sense than Arena returning to D.C. to salvage a squad that looks completely lost," writes Galarcep. "He was D.C. United's first head coach and laid the foundation for three MLS Cup titles in the first four years of the league's existence, so who better than Arena to straighten out the mess?"

It sounds perfect doesn't, like high school sweethearts finding each other years at the 10-year reunion. And I'm sure at first it would be a torrent love affair, as the fans and media reminisce about the good ol' days of magic triangles and MLS Cups. But like all reunited lovers, the reality that things have changed, that they have changed, will begin to settle in.

After all it's been a while since Arena coached the red-and-black. It was before he took over the national team and shocked the world by upsetting Portugal and reaching the quarterfinals for the first time since 1930. It was before the 2006 World Cup when the U.S., with world paying attention this time, underwhelmed and crashed out after poor performances (and some inscrutable coaching decisions) against the Czech Republic and Ghana. It was also before Arena returned to MLS to coach DC's biggest rivals New York. Arena coached the Red Bulls for a year-and-a-half finishing an unimpressive .500 (16-16-10).

In fact, it's been 10 years since Arena stood on the DC sideline as its coach. It was 1998, the year when the upstart expansion team Chicago Fire broke United's grip on the MLS Cup with a shocking 2-0 win over DC in the final. The Fire was led by another soon to be ex-DC coach Peter Nowak. Arena did managed to help DC win the CONCACAF Champions Cup that year, however.

But 10 years is a long time for any relationship. Does he remember to put the cap back on the toothpaste? Does she have an annoying habit of talking in her sleep. Does he still think it was a good idea to play DaMarcus Beasley on the right side instead of his natural left?

DC United, swept up in the sweet perfume of victories past, may rush back into Arena's arms pretty soon, desperate to get away from its current abusive relationship, but they should be careful because when they run out of good times to talk about, there's only an uncertain future staring them in the face.

Fulham's a little less American

English Premier League club Fulham released American centerback Carlos Bocanegra on Friday after the club narrowly avoided relegation this season.

Bocanegra, a regular starter and sometimes captain under former manager Lawrie Sanchez, was underutilized and underappreciated by Fulham's soon to be ex-manager Roy Hodgson. I give Hodgson five games into next season before he's sacked. Fulham fired Sanchez with Fulham in the relegation zone and Hodgson needed late game heroics in the final match of the season to avoid the drop. I don't really see the difference between the two bosses.

Americans Brian McBride, Clint Dempsey, Eddie Johnson and Kasey Keller all remain on the roster for now, although there are rumors that McBride and Keller may retire. Fulham also released Jari Litmanen, Philippe Christanval, Simon Elliott, Ian Pearce, Michael Timlin, Ismael Ehui and Bjorn Runstrom.

New San Jose beat Old San Jose

The new San Jose defeated the Old San Jose, as the Quakes topped the Houston Dynamo 2-1 at Buck Shaw Stadium on Thursday night. San Jose striker Kei Kamara scored the first goal in the 67th minute and Ivan Guerro put away a rebound of another Kamara shot as insurance. Brian Ching scored his second of the season as conciliation for the visitors.

Toronto target Newcastle striker

According to a report in The Journal, a Newcastle newspaper, Toronto FC is trying to lure Newcastle striker Shola Ameobi to Major League Soccer.

The 26-year-old Nigerian-born Englishman plied his trade in the Championship with newly promoted Stoke City on loan from Newcastle, and has been linked to former Newcastle boss John Carver's new side Toronto. However, media reports doubt that the Reds have the green to bring him in, claiming that Ameobi's asking price would be about £3 million.

It is clear, however, that Ameobi doesn't want to stay with Stoke, despite their promotion and rumors of a permanent transfer, and Carver's Newcastle connection could help in bringing him to North America. The Reds could certainly use the help in the attack, with only nine goals scored in eight matches.

But do they really want this guy? Here is the funniest (tribute?) compilation for a player that I have ever seen on youtube. Most of the clips show Ameobi screwing up, set to the tune of the theme from "The Greatest American Hero." Awesome.

Reds add to DC pain

Toronto FC kept former champions DC United headed in the wrong direction, defeating the once-revered club 1-0 at BMO Field on Wednesday night, thanks to a goal by Reds hero Danny Dichio. United coach Tom Soehn continues to be on borrowed time.

England, prepare to be boarded!

Like the U.S.S. Constitution vs. the H.M.S. Guerriere during the War of 1812, Americans are preparing to kick some English butt all over the Atlantic. Break her main mast (aka Peter Crouch) and burn her down to Davy Jones' locker.

U.S. coach Bob Bradley released the 22-man roster for the May 28 "friendly" against England at Wembley Stadium and it features a few surprises among the usual suspects. Of course, Howard will be in goal. Bocanegra and Onyewu are set to go in central defense. Beasley, Bradley and Dempsey are all present, as is the sacred cow Landon Donovan and Michael "don't call me the coach's son" Bradley. But questions remain. Will Freddy Adu make the pitch? Who will play outside back, right or left? Does Eddie Lewis have naked pictures of Bob Bradley copulating with a horse or something? But the biggest question is, who the hell is going to score?

Eddie Johnson? EdJo got six appearances for Fulham this season. He should have stayed in MLS. Josh Wolff? Remember when he scored that goal against Mexico in 2001. Yeah, so does he. It was the last big goal he scored. Nate Jaqua? His most recent club was Cashpoint SC Rheindorf Altach ... enough said. Where is Jozy Altidore? Or Kenny Cooper or even Brian Ching (shudder)? If we're going to complete with the physicality of England we need some bigger, stronger guys running at their backline. I mean, really, is anyone afraid of the big, bad Wolff?

U.S. ROSTER BY POSITION
GOALKEEPERS (3): Dominic Cervi (Out of Contract), Brad Guzan (Chivas USA), Tim Howard (Everton FC)

DEFENDERS (8): Carlos Bocanegra (Fulham FC), Dan Califf (FC Midtjylland), Steve Cherundolo (Hannover 96), Jay DeMerit (Watford FC), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard de Liege), Michael Orozco (San Luis), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock), Jonathan Spector (West Ham United)

MIDFIELDERS (6): Freddy Adu (SL Benfica), DaMarcus Beasley (Glasgow Rangers), Michael Bradley (SC Heerenveen), Ricardo Clark (Houston Dynamo), Benny Feilhaber (Derby County), Eddie Lewis (Derby County)

FORWARDS (5): Clint Dempsey (Fulham FC), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy), Nate Jaqua (Out of Contract), Eddie Johnson (Fulham FC), Josh Wolff (Out of Contract)

ENGLAND ROSTER BY POSITION
GOALKEEPERS (3): David James (Portsmouth), Joe Hart (Manchester City), Chris Kirkland (Wigan)

DEFENDERS (10): Wayne Bridge (Chelsea), Wes Brown (Manchester United), Ashley Cole (Chelsea), Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United), Phil Jagielka (Everton), Glen Johnson (Portsmouth), John Terry (Chelsea), Stephen Warnock (Blackburn), David Wheater (Middlesbrough), Jonathan Woodgate (Middlesbrough)

MIDFIELDERS (12): Gareth Barry (Aston Villa), David Beckham (Los Angeles Galaxy), David Bentley (Blackburn), Joe Cole (Chelsea), Stewart Downing (Middlesbrough), Owen Hargreaves (Manchester United), Tom Huddlestone (Tottenham), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Jermaine Jenas (Tottenham), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Theo Walcott (Arsenal), Ashley Young (Aston Villa)

FORWARDS (6): Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Dean Ashton (West Ham), Peter Crouch (Liverpool), Jermain Defoe (Portsmouth), Michael Owen (Newcastle), Wayne Rooney (Manchester United)

FC Dallas give boot to Morrow

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time

Surprisingly, DC's Tom Soehn was not the first MLS head coach to get the ax, as FC Dallas announced today the firing of their head coach Steve Morrow on the heels of an embarrassing 5-1 home loss to the LA Galaxy last Sunday.

Hoops GM Michael Hitchcock appointed assistant coach Marco Ferruzzi interim head coach, according to the report on mlsnet.com.

FC Dallas is in the midst of a four-game winless streak and has managed only one win in four home matches. Given last year's fourth-place finish (overall) in the regular season, and an early exit from the playoffs at the hands of the Houston Dynamo, expectations were apparently high and results were expected sooner rather than later.

"We have set high standards, expectations, and goals for this team and organization," Hitchcock told mlsnet.com. "I feel that the team was not heading in the direction we had planned, and believe it is in the best interest of the club to make a coaching change at this time."

Morrow, a former Northern Ireland international, played two seasons for FC Dallas in 2002 and 2003, before taking a position as an assistant a year later. He resigned due to personal reasons later that year but returned to act as Colin Clarke's assistant in the 2005 season. He was named head coach in late 2006. In his first (and now only) full year as head coach, he guided the Hoops to a 13-12-5 record and an MLS Cup playoff berth. Morrow also managed to get FC Dallas to the Championship game of the US Open Cup where they lost 3-2 to New England.

"I have thoroughly enjoyed my six year association with this organization and was proud to be Head Coach of FC Dallas," Steve Morrow told mlsnet.com. "I feel I leave the team in a very strong position with a wonderful group of players that are capable of achieving great things. Due to a recent run of poor results, I fully accept responsibility, and, if the team needs to go in a different direction then I wish the players nothing but great success for the remainder of the season and beyond. I'd like to thank my staff, the players, the Hunt family and all the fans for their support."

As evidenced by his statement above, Morrow is a class act. This is an inscrutable move by the Dallas front office. Morrow had a single season under his belt and many would argue that he was still in the process of building his team.

He was primarily responsible for bringing in talented midfielder Juan Toja, who has admittedly had a poor sophomore effort but who also has caught the injury bug, and Morrow was still trying to fill the absence of goal-machine Carlos Ruiz, who was traded away so the league could boost the pathetic attack of the LA Beckhams.

It's amazing to me that mediocre coaches like Tom Soehn and Fernando Clavijo are thrown a lifeline year-after-year, loss-after-loss, while a guy like Morrow is left to drown after just a single season. Hopefully, Seattle or Philadelphia will seize on this mistake and we'll see Morrow on the sideline again. And maybe then he'll get a chance to burn his old team like they burned him.

TYH'S MLS BEST 11 (Week 8)

GOALKEEPER

K. Hartman (KC)

DEFENDERS

T. Marshall (TFC), B. Boswell (HOU), J. Conrad (KC)

MIDFIELDERS

C. Clark (COL), S. Joseph (NE), R. Clark (HOU), S. Kljestan (CHV)

FORWARDS

A. Harris (CHV), E. Buddle (LA), L. Donovan (LA)

Galaxy flatten Dallas at PHP

MAY 18
Los Angeles 5-1 FC Dallas (Pizza Hut Park)
The Galaxy took FC Dallas behind the woodshed, jumping out to a 4-0 lead in just 45 minutes. Galaxy striker (and MLS journeyman) Edson Buddle scored a hattrick, Chris Klein got one and Landon Donovan deflected a pass off Duilio Davino for the own goal. Dominic Oduro managed a meaningless conciliation goal for the home side before defender Adrian Serioux tried to flatten David Beckham and was sent off. All around it was a good day for LA and a bad day for the Hoops.

Daily Star: Henry to snub EPL for MLS

According to The Daily Star Sunday, a British tabloid (so take it with a hunk of salt), Barcelona striker Thierry Henry will refuse a move back to the English Premier League in favor of a "£5million-a-year deal in America's Major Soccer League."

In dollars, it would be nearly $10 million per year, so any deal would need to be structured similarly to Beckham's (meaning Henry would essentially be paid by sponsors and would own a sizable chunk of future profits made off his image, etc.). Again, this is probably rubbish, but I'm sure there are 16 teams, their front offices, fans, even the water boys hoping to see the Frenchman in their colors.

DC reap what they Soehn

In the aftermath of DC United's sixth loss, DC coach Tom Soehn is clearly feeling the pressure. According to uber-blogger Steve Goff, United's locker room kept its doors closed an extra 15 minutes following the 3-1 road loss to Chivas USA, a club who have had its own share of troubles lately.

Goff writes:

Managing partner Will Chang exited with a grim look on his face. Team president Kevin Payne declined comment. Coach Tom Soehn, who usually steps out of the locker room promptly to give his postgame address, was nowhere to be seen. Players started trickling out of the locker room and headed toward the bus.

When I was covering MLS for a couple of different soccer web sites, I had the opportunity to interview United president Kevin Payne. I found him to be a very serious dude. He had no time for small talk or clever quips. You asked him questions and he either answered them or didn't. And if you hesitated or seemed ill-prepared his judgmental stare would burn a hole through you until you thought of something or quietly backed away. He was not a guy who tolerated incompetence.

Another thing I know about Mr. Payne is that he loves DC United. He doesn't care who you are or what your credentials are, if you mess with his team be prepared for retribution. A few years ago he was given a bit of a promotion by AEG, then owner-operators of DC United, and made Director of Soccer Operations, in charge of all the clubs in the Anschutz empire. When AEG sold DC United to Chang and his DC United Holdings group, Payne left what must have been a lucrative position to return to United as team president. Under Payne's leadership, the team has won four MLS Cups, four Supporters' Shields, a US Open Cup, a CONCACAF Champions Cup and an InterAmerican Cup.

What does all this mean? Well, it means Payne has no patience for losers. Just ask, Thomas Rongen and Ray Hudson. Rongen won an MLS Cup in 1999, but was quickly replaced by Hudson in 2001 after missing the playoffs in 2000. Hudson was then replaced after two seasons. In 2003, after getting ousted in the first round of the playoffs, Hudson famously said, "Someone get me a blindfold and a cigarette!"

Which brings me to the current DC coach, Tom Soehn, who should be firing up that cigarette himself soon. Despite last season's Supporters' Shield victory, an early exit from MLS Cup and an embarrassing ouster in the US Open Cup, left Soehn on the hot seat this season. Add to that, the high expectations that came with the addition of Marcelo Gallardo to a squad that scored 56 goals and managed 55 points last year, and you can't help but think that Payne is warming up the firing squad once again.

Some fans, holding out hope, point to DC's slow start in 2007. After all, they didn't win a match until May 6. The difference is that they were only 0-3-1 at that point and then they went undefeated until June 23rd. A run like that doesn't seem likely given the poor showing this April and May. United is 2-6-0 this season, managing wins over a pre-Guevara TFC and Real Salt Lake who also only have two wins to show for 2008.

So, what does Prez Payne think about this terrible start. Well, following DC's 2-0 loss to Chicago on May 8, Payne called the players out for poor effort.

"We have a personal accountability issue on the field," he said. "I hope that the players know; some of them probably don't, actually. There are certain players who play maybe 75 or 80 minutes out of 90, but they take off critical plays, and it happened tonight twice."

But after this loss, Payne had no comment. And I think it is this silence that says volumes. The death knell has sounded for Soehn. I'm just not sure he's heard it yet.

MLS Round-Up (Week 8)

MAY 17
Columbus 0-0 Toronto (BMO Field)

TFC had the lion's share of possession and quality chances, but they still can't find a consistent goalscorer. Robbie Rogers nearly stole one for the Crew, but Reds defender Tyrone Marshall was able to clear the shot off the line.
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Kansas City 1-1 New York (Giants Stadium)

Jimmy Conrad scored his third of the season against the run of play, heading in a Carlos Marinelli corner kick in the first half. Then, Danleigh Borman scored his second goal in as many games to equalize for the Red Bulls at home against Kansas City. New York really had more chances in this game, but could only squeak one goal by Kevin Hartman and the Wizards defense.
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San Jose 0-2 New England (Gillette Stadium)

Zimbabwe striker Kheli Dube cleaned up a clever dummy by Shalrie Joseph to put the Revs on top and then Quakes defender James Riley forgot that he wasn't on New England anymore and headed it over his keeper and into his own goal. You may not be able to call San Jose an expansion team, officially, but they sure play like one.
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Houston 2-1 Chicago (Toyota Park)

A late goal by Bobby Boswell gave Houston its second win of the season and doused the Fire's three-game winning streak with a 2-1 scoreline. Ricardo Clark's bomb from 30-yards in the first half was answered 11 minutes later by Calen Carr.
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DC United 1-3 Chivas USA (Home Depot Center)

A fabulous goal by Marcelo Gallardo in the first half was cancelled out by some horrible right-side defending in the second half. Goals by Jesse Marsch, Sacha Kljestan, and Jorge Flores all started with right-side runs. Clyde Simms was beaten like a red-headed, rented-mule stepchild.
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Screech plays for TFC?

Sorry, saw this picture of Kevin Harmse and I couldn't help myself. The resemblance is uncanny.

Any chance Barca deal could include goody basket?

Major League Soccer signed a marketing partnership with FC Barcelona this week, creating a two-way brand hawking agreement that also includes a U.S. match tour by the Spanish giants in 2008. As per usual, financial terms of the deal were not disclosed.

A strategic marketing partnership is nice, but is there any way that FC Barcelona can throw MLS a few players. Maybe use MLS as a secondary reserve squad, an offseason proving ground or for older players who would be sold off anyway? I'm not suggesting they would send over Lionel Messi, but what about a player like Edmilson whose contract will end this year.

The 31-year-old Brazilian defender was linked to a move to Newcastle already, but given Barca's new strategic partnership, maybe we could work out a deal. He might be a nice fit for struggling Chivas USA who have struggled in defense, allowing a league-high 15 goals in seven matches (LA also has allowed 15 goals but doesn't have the payroll space).

Or for those of you afraid of old Brazilians (Denilson-phobia) might I suggest MLS politely asking for a couple of youngsters from Barcelona B. They will probably decline, but we might be able to get a player or two on loan since the MLS season doesn't really interfere with the bulk of the Spanish football season. Perhaps, Israeli striker Gai Assulin, 17, would be interested in playing stateside for a few months.

Rapids run rough over Salt Lake

Colorado improved its home record to 3-1 by beating Real Salt Lake 2-0 on Thursday at Dick's Sporting Goods Park. The Rapids improved their record to 4-4 primarily through strong midfield play by Colin Clark and Pablo Mastroeni. Clark's low, left-footed cross to Omar Cummings put the Rapids on top and Christian Bomez converted from the spot after an RSL handball.

Bradley fills the USA pool

It's an exclusive pool party. Only 33 people are invited. But it's a total sausage-fest.

Bradley announced the 33 players that will be invited to train in preparation for the friendlies against Argentina and England in the run up to the 2010 World Cup qualification campaign.

A couple names stand out -- Olympic team defender Michael Orozco (who was red carded two minutes into his debut with Mexican club San Luis and MLS journeyman Nate Jaqua who was most recently playing in Austria. Orozco is a talented young defender, but I'm not sure why a spot was wasted on MLS benchwarmer Jaqua.

Eddie Gaven continues to pee in the pool. I'm not sure what Bradley sees in this guy. On the other hand, Robbie Rogers' recent stellar play made him a shoe in for this camp. No real surprises by the rest of the selections.

LIST BY POSITION
GOALKEEPERS (5): Dominic Cervi (Out of Contract), Brad Guzan (Chivas USA), Tim Howard (Everton FC), Troy Perkins (Valerenga IF), Chris Seitz (Real Salt Lake)

DEFENDERS (9): Carlos Bocanegra (Fulham FC), Dan Califf (FC Midtjylland), Steve Cherundolo (Hannover 96), Jay DeMerit (Watford FC), Frankie Hejduk (Columbus Crew), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard de Liege), Michael Orozco (San Luis), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock), Jonathan Spector (West Ham United)

MIDFIELDERS (10): Freddy Adu (SL Benfica), DaMarcus Beasley (Glasgow Rangers), Michael Bradley (SC Heerenveen), Ricardo Clark (Houston Dynamo), Maurice Edu (Toronto FC), Benny Feilhaber (Derby County), Eddie Gaven (Columbus Crew), Sacha Kljestan (Chivas USA), Eddie Lewis (Derby County), Pablo Mastroeni (Colorado Rapids)

FORWARDS (9): Jozy Altidore (New York Red Bulls), Brian Ching (Houston Dynamo), Kenny Cooper (FC Dallas), Clint Dempsey (Fulham FC), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy), Nate Jaqua (Out of Contract), Eddie Johnson (Fulham FC), Robbie Rogers (Columbus Crew), Josh Wolff (1860 Munich)

USSF picks home qualifier sites

The United States Soccer Federation announced today that the three home matches in the semi-finals of CONCACAF World Cup qualification will be played at RFK Stadium, Dick's Sporting Goods Park and Toyota Park.

Assuming U.S. soccer sinks minnows Barbados in their home-and-away matches (beginning on June 15), the U.S. will take on the winner of the Trinidad & Tobago-Bermuda series in September at Toyota Park, home of the Chicago Fire. The Nats then face either Cuba or Antigua at RFK Stadium, home of DC United, before finishing their campaign against either Guatemala or St. Lucia at Dick's Sporting Goods Park, home of the Colorado Rapids, in November.

Our boys should be good and warmed up for the poor little bearded ones. The Nats have matches scheduled against England at Wembley Stadium on May 28 and against Argentina on June 8th at Giants Stadium. Sandwiched in the middle will be a camp based in Spain.

There will be Blood, Randolph Macon!

A Blood War: The Yellow Jackets vs. The Tribe
John Stewart was fast? Who knew? Just watch the first two minutes and you'll understand.

Snacks!

From A British TV show called Headcases

TYH'S MLS BEST 11 (Week 7)

GOALKEEPER

J. Busch (CHI)

DEFENDERS

J. Parke (NY), B. Soumare (CHI), D. van den Bergh (NY)

MIDFIELDERS

K. Beckerman (RSL), R. Mulrooney (HOU), S. Joseph (NE), Justin Mapp (CHI)

FORWARDS

C. Blanco (CHI), R. Rogers (CLB), J.P. Angel (NY)

MLS Round-Up (Week 7)

MAY 11
New England 2-1 Chivas USA (Home Depot Center)
Taylor Twellman's return from injury was a glorious one for Revs fans, as Double-T scored what proved to be the winner after entering the game at halftime. Double-T's goal actually made it 2-0 after Gambian forward Kenny Mansally scored his second goal of the season 18 minutes in. Rookie Justin Braun pulled a goal back in injury time for struggling Chivas USA.
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MAY 10
Colorado 1-2 Houston (Robertson Stadium)

Houston finally got off the snide, but they needed some questionable officiating to get it done. First, Dynamo striker Brian Ching's 43rd-minute goal was clearly offside and then a Rapids assistant coach and a bench player were sent off in two separate "dissent" incidents called by head ref Tim Weyland. Colorado's Omar Cummings pulled one back for the visitors before Dwayne DeRosario's PK gave Houston its first win of the year. (P.S. - FSC announcer Max Bretos is a douchebag)
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FC Dallas 1-2 Real Salt Lake (Rice-Eccles Stadium)

Kyle Beckerman continues to make a case for himself for possible USMNT inclusion by scoring the winner against FC Dallas in the 73rd minute. RSL got on the board thanks to some shoddy keeping by Dario Sala who came out to challenge but failed to clear, allowing Javier Morales an easy putaway. Hoops forward Kenny Cooper squeezed a high shot near post past Nick Rimando in the 56th minute before Beckerman managed to toe poke home an Andy Williams chip into the box.
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Columbus 3-2 San Jose (Buck Shaw Stadium)

Two MLS rookies combined to give the Crew its fifth win in a row, as Robbie Rogers scored a brace and former UC-Irvine forward Brad Evans scored his first MLS goal. Bookending the younsters' performances were goals by Ramiro Corrales and Ryan JohnSon who managed to make the final minutes a bit more interesting.
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New York 2-1 Los Angeles (Home Depot Center)
An entertaining, wide-open second half saw Juan Pablo Angel swoop down to steal the win shortly after Alan Gordon had managed an equalizer after nearly 20 minutes of sustained pressure from the Galaxy. New York newboy Danleigh Borman started the scoring off with a garbage goal (and an even uglier goal celebration).
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Bornstein blows out knee

Talented American defender Jonathan Bornstein suffered a sprained LCL on Thursday during training with his club Chivas USA and is expected to be out for about two months.

This is a tough blow for Chivas whose defense has been rather suspect to start the season. As documented in an early article about the Goats de Americano keeper Brad Guzan, Chivas has surrendered a second-worst 2.17 goals per game.

This also means that Bornstein will be unavailable for the U.S.'s home-and-away matches against Barbados next month, the kickoff of second round World Cup qualifying action. The U.S. will host Barbados on June 15 and then travel for the seond-leg on June 22.

Although the Nats will have little trouble dealing with the island nation's best even without Bornstein, these early games in World Cup qualifying could help coach Bob Bradley determine the strongest squad to face stiffer CONCACAF competition. Plus, knee sprains have a habit of staying with athletes for a few months, so fitness will be a concern well into July and August.

DC, a dynasty in decline

The DC dynasty appears to be in its twilight, as evidenced by their latest trouncing this Thursday at the hands of white hot Chicago Fire. The Fire burned through the DC defense for a 2-0 win at RFK Stadium in Washington, D.C. First Obama, now this. It's been a good week for Chicago. While I could post the QickKick video of Blanco's goal (a screamer from 35-yards into the upper, right 90), I think the following illustrates the tatters that was once the vaunted DC defense. Who knew Gonzalo Peralta would be such a bust?

For Kreis' sake, hire some decent officials

Real Salt Lake coach Jason Kreis was suspended a game and fined $1,000 for saying what everyone knows is true: the officiating in Major League Soccer is terrible.

After RSL's match against the LA Galaxy on May 3, Kreis vented to the Deseret Morning News:

"I have a team doing their best to reward fans through a frustrating time and a frustrating few years. I feel the players are doing what they need to, the coaching staff is doing what they do, but being wronged by critical referee decisions is unacceptable."

Ok, a grand isn't really that big a deal, even in the low-paying world of American professional soccer, but sitting the guy for a match is a bit extreme for voicing the frustration that has existed among of players and coaches for some time. Why doesn't MLS use all the fines they've handed out over the last 12 years to hire better officials because across the board these guys are about as competent as a lawyer with a degree from Falwell's Liberty University.

The problems boil down to consistency, which is a hallmark of good officiating. Look, I don't care if you don't decide to give a red card to the player whose two-footed challenged not only broke his opponent's legs but also the legs of his unborn child, as long as you don't turn around and eject the guy who accidentally sneezed on the corner flag. Be consistent! A lack of consistency in calls begets frustration and frustration begets recklessness.

Week after week I watch as effective build ups are whistled dead for calls off the ball when an advantage should have been played. At other times, poor calls or missed calls have changed games, giving or taking away goals and sending players off without reason. PLayers' tempers flare and referees lose control of games. That's when the cards really start flying.

Look at last week's Chivas USA vs. Houston game. Six cards were handed out in the second half, three in half number one, and there was a grand total of 35 fouls called. More startling is that there were only a dozen fouls in the first half, meaning that the whistle blew every two minutes in half number two. And that isn't counting substitution stoppages, offside calls, set-pieces. Was it a physical game against two teams that dislike each other? Yes, but a good referee would establish a tone early and then let them play, not encourage a free-for-all and then haphazardly try to crack down in the second half. Football should be about pace and flow, that is how the beautiful game was meant to be played. I'm tired of the men in the middle with their dayglow shirts taking the attention away from the players and shining the spotlight on themselves.

Kreis' outburst won't help, of course, but kudos for him for point out that it's the players that people are there to watch, not the monkeys in the middle.

We're with stupid!

We covered it last week, but DC United and Volkswagen made it official today.

DC fans will also be treated with some extra special treatment on Thursday, thanks to VW.

All fans driving to United's match on Thursday, against Chicago, will be treated to complimentary parking, courtesy of the new presenting sponsor. Going forward, the first 50 Volkswagens to enter lot 4 on gamedays will also be treated to a complimentary spot.

Free parking? In the District? Now that's farfennugen.

TYH'S MLS BEST 11 (Week 6)

GOALKEEPER

J. Busch (CHI)

DEFENDERS

W. Barrett (HOU), D Davino (DAL), F. Erpen (COL)

MIDFIELDERS

J. Thorrington (CHI), D. Beckham (LA), J. Morales (RSL), 

C. Gomez (COL), N. Grabavoy (SJ)

FORWARDS

C. Rolfe (CHI), R. Rogers (CLB)

MLS Round-Up (Week 6)

MAY 4
COL 2-0 DC United (Dick's Sporting Goods Park)
Players of DC's past haunted United tonight, as Christian Gomez and Facundo Erpen helped stick it to their former team. Midfield playmaker Gomez was instrumental in setting up the goals from Erpen and Jacob Peterson.
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MAY 3
Chicago 3-0 New England (Gillette Stadium)

The Fire torched the Revs for three goals, making normally stellar goalkeeper Matt Reis look pedestrian. Chris Rolfe, John Thorrington and Stephen King were all on the scorer's sheet, but Thorrington's blast was the best of them.
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Kansas City 1-2 Columbus (Crew Stadium)

Robbie Rogers looks to be the early favorite for Rookie of the Year. The American youngster with the alliterative name picked up the game winner and also nicely set the table several times for his teammates. Lopez drew and converted a PK in the 79th.
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Chivas USA 0-0 Houston (Robertson Stadium)
Both teams were so busy beating the crap out of one another that they didn't bother to score. These teams hate each other.
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Los Angeles 2-2 Real Salt Lake (Rice-Eccles Stadium)

Wide open game and by wide open I mean almost no defense. Birthday-boy David Beckham saves the Galaxy with two spectacular goals. Poor offside call disallowed a winner for RSL, and Nick Rimando's reflexes deny LA win.
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FC Dallas 0-0 San Jose (Buck Shaw Stadium)

San Jose debut Buck Shaw (home of the Santa Clara Broncos) but niether team manages to christen the goals. Have to say, though, the 'Quakes black uniform is tight.
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MAY 1
New York 1-1 Toronto FC (BMO Field)

Dave van den Bergh delivers a "dutch-oven" on a free-kick and equalizes a Marco Velez header. But although they managed a point on the road, NY still loses, as Claudio Reyna leaves the match with unspecified lower left leg injury.

Comeback unlikely for DC hero Olsen

He was named an all-American in high school by Parade magazine. Soccer America made him collegiate player of the year. In 1998 he was named MLS rookie of the year with DC United. The following year he was named MLS Cup MVP, as DC United secured their third MLS Cup trophy in four years. He was a regular starter for the national team and many thought he'd be instrumental in leading the U.S. to international respectability on the World Stage.

But then came his third season in MLS, the collision with 'the beast' Zach Thornton and a series of ankle injuries that would continue to haunt this once promising player. And now it looks like Ben Olsen's most recent ankle injury will be the straw that broke the camel's back.

According to an interview on Steven Goff's Soccer Insider, Olsen's most recent injury to his ankle, an injury that Olsen says will require surgery, could force him to call it quits after 10 years in the league.

"Everything is so gray. They don't know how it is going to play out, they really don't. They have been candid with me, which has been very nice. They said, 'Look, the percentages of you playing again are not good. There's a possibility you won't play again. So just prepare yourself for that.' But if that's the case, I will deal with it. It's not the end of the world."

It's a sad circumstance for such a gifted player to have to endure such an injury-plagued career. To only have a handful of healthy seasons in the 10 years that you've played, to know that if you had been healthy you might have figured more permanently in representing your country -- it has to be the toughest thing for an athlete to go through. Because if this is the end for Olsen, he won't be able to say he left on his own terms, that he was ready to go and made the conscious decision to hang the cleats up. It's enough to make even the most hardened, bitter fan weep.

Better days for Ben -- A hat-trick against rivals New York.

Farfennugen United: DC signs shirt deal

DC United will ink a shirt deal with automotive company Volkswagen this week that will bring in $3.7 million in annual revenue to the club, according to the Sports Business Journal.

Galaxy spins a 180 on Iran date

In a move sure to put a strain on the term "friendly," the Los Angeles Galaxy will, indeed, host the Iranian national team, according to a recent article by one of my favorite ESPNsoccernet writers Andrea Canales.

"We have been working with the Galaxy and the U.S. State Department on a possible match between the Galaxy and the national team of Iran," said USSF prez Sunil Gulati. "While matters are not concluded, things are moving in the right direction."

Great work, guys. I can just imagine the brainstorming session on this one:

"Hey, Alexi, how can we get the average-joe, American sports fan to pay attention to MLS?"

"Well, Mr. Gulati, there are a lot of people in the heartland and in the South that love Fox News and those guys are always going on about Iran. Maybe we should invite them over for a friendly against one of our MLS clubs."

"Wonderful idea, Alexi. And we should choose the MLS team populated with the most Europeans and metrosexuals. The Billy Bobs and Susie Mays love effeminate men with excellent hygiene. We might even be able to put an expansion club in Arkansas after this."

Sure, why not invite over the country that our current president labeled as threat numero uno. I'm sure the State Depratment will love that idea. Ok, maybe it's too much to hope for that soccer in this country could win over the type of people who can't differentiate between Sunnis and Shias, but can tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi or a Whopper and a Big Mac while submerged in a sensory deprivation tank. Maybe we should just stick to the immigrants, latte liberals and Anglophiles that currently populate our stadiums. I mean, I'm fine with Iran's national team coming over here, as Alexi Lalas says, "it's important for people to understand that these are men that have wives and families, just like we do." Duh.

But why Iran? Is it because Al Qaeda doesn't have a soccer team? North Korea was busy? Are we remaking Mean Machine, casting the Iranians as the mean prison guards and the Galaxy as the plucky prisoners? Is Lalas trying to win a Nobel Peace Prize?

"I do see a tour in that area of the world as something that we not only want to do, but something that we have to do," said Lalas. "We're all looking for unique and creative ways to bring people together. Sports is always an attractive option."

Oh, I get it. It's the first wave of a U.S. assault on the Middle East. Stay tuned for the Galaxy's announcement of the "Mission Accomplished Tour" where they'll take on FC Insurrgence, West Bank United and Osama's Rangers. It's sure to ignite the crowds and get them all fired upon up.