Galaxy spins a 180 on Iran date

In a move sure to put a strain on the term "friendly," the Los Angeles Galaxy will, indeed, host the Iranian national team, according to a recent article by one of my favorite ESPNsoccernet writers Andrea Canales.

"We have been working with the Galaxy and the U.S. State Department on a possible match between the Galaxy and the national team of Iran," said USSF prez Sunil Gulati. "While matters are not concluded, things are moving in the right direction."

Great work, guys. I can just imagine the brainstorming session on this one:

"Hey, Alexi, how can we get the average-joe, American sports fan to pay attention to MLS?"

"Well, Mr. Gulati, there are a lot of people in the heartland and in the South that love Fox News and those guys are always going on about Iran. Maybe we should invite them over for a friendly against one of our MLS clubs."

"Wonderful idea, Alexi. And we should choose the MLS team populated with the most Europeans and metrosexuals. The Billy Bobs and Susie Mays love effeminate men with excellent hygiene. We might even be able to put an expansion club in Arkansas after this."

Sure, why not invite over the country that our current president labeled as threat numero uno. I'm sure the State Depratment will love that idea. Ok, maybe it's too much to hope for that soccer in this country could win over the type of people who can't differentiate between Sunnis and Shias, but can tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi or a Whopper and a Big Mac while submerged in a sensory deprivation tank. Maybe we should just stick to the immigrants, latte liberals and Anglophiles that currently populate our stadiums. I mean, I'm fine with Iran's national team coming over here, as Alexi Lalas says, "it's important for people to understand that these are men that have wives and families, just like we do." Duh.

But why Iran? Is it because Al Qaeda doesn't have a soccer team? North Korea was busy? Are we remaking Mean Machine, casting the Iranians as the mean prison guards and the Galaxy as the plucky prisoners? Is Lalas trying to win a Nobel Peace Prize?

"I do see a tour in that area of the world as something that we not only want to do, but something that we have to do," said Lalas. "We're all looking for unique and creative ways to bring people together. Sports is always an attractive option."

Oh, I get it. It's the first wave of a U.S. assault on the Middle East. Stay tuned for the Galaxy's announcement of the "Mission Accomplished Tour" where they'll take on FC Insurrgence, West Bank United and Osama's Rangers. It's sure to ignite the crowds and get them all fired upon up.